Mastering Self-Control: The Power of Coaching in Developing Leaders

Haste does indeed make waste

Have you ever lashed out at someone, only to feel shame later? Or taken a snap decision and regretted it afterwards? Maybe you bought something you didn’t need and felt foolish in hindsight.

You’re not alone. Many people struggle with impulsive decision-making, leading to strained relationships, financial issues, and hindered career growth.

Thankfully, it’s possible to manage impulsiveness and make better choices by developing self-control and cultivating prudence.

In this blog, I’ll share seven steps to help you tame your impulses, improve your leadership skills, and enhance your executive presence.

Identify Triggers, Fears, and Patterns: No Awareness = No Choice.

The first step in reducing impulsive behaviour is recognizing the triggers, fears, and patterns that seem to give birth to the urges and the need to act first with little or no thinking. Notice the emotions, thoughts, and situations that usually precede impulsive actions. By understanding the root causes of your impulsivity, you can anticipate potential triggers and create strategies to avoid or manage them more effectively.

Work to Reduce Urges, Not Eliminate Them. You Are Human

Remember that, as a human; you are naturally prone to impulsive behaviour. Focus on reducing urges instead of trying to eliminate them. This may involve developing coping mechanisms or implementing strategies to limit exposure to temptation. Be kind to yourself and recognize that progress, not perfection, is the goal.

Learn About and Practice Prudence. Grow It Like a Muscle

Prudence is the ability to think carefully before acting and consider potential consequences. Developing prudence requires you to improve your critical thinking skills, seek advice from others, and learn from past experiences. Like any skill, prudence requires practice and patience to strengthen over time.

As you consistently exercise the ability to think through your actions before taking them, they will become more natural and enhance your leadership abilities and gravitas.

Practice Mindfulness, Learn to Be Present

Mindfulness teaches you to focus on the present moment and accept it without judgment. It supports you in becoming more aware of your thoughts and emotions, allowing you to recognize impulsive urges as they arise.

Through mindfulness, you can develop the ability to pause, reflect, and choose a more prudent course of action, boosting the quality of your choices and outcomes.

A Calm Mind Is Less Likely to Fall Prey to Urges

A calm mind is less susceptible to impulsivity because it allows you to think clearly and rationally. To achieve a quiet mind, tweak your environment at work and home; you could add greenery, reduce clutter, bring in more cheer, and let it inspire and energize you.

Also, adopt stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, sufficient rest and regular exercise into your daily routine.

A calm and composed mind will also contribute to your presence, as a calm demeanour is often associated with strong leadership skills.

Write Down Your Cravings, Reflecting Reduces Their Hold on You

When you feel an impulsive urge, please take a moment to write down the craving and its associated emotions. Reflecting on these feelings can help you gain perspective and reduce their power over you.

In addition, this process allows you to make more conscious and deliberate choices rather than being swept away by your impulses.

Seek the Support of Executive Coaching to Stay Accountable

Working with an executive coach can give you the guidance and support needed to manage impulsiveness effectively. A coach can help you build self-awareness, identify triggers, develop coping strategies, and hold you accountable for your progress.

Reach out and seek support; having a support system makes a difference in your journey towards enhanced leadership and executive presence.

Here are five benefits of managing impulsive behaviours and exercising prudence

1. Lesser regret, more self-confidence:

By making thoughtful choices, you will experience fewer instances of regret, be free of heavy emotions and have greater self-confidence. The boost in confidence will positively impact your teams, clients, and stakeholders, not to mention your leadership style and executive presence.

2. Better use of your valuable time, money, and energy:

Reducing impulsive, hasty decisions and increasing prudent ones will help you invest your resources wisely, get more done, optimize your cognitive faculties and deliver greater value, leading to overall satisfaction and well-being, professionally and personally.

3. Admirable executive presence, be seen as a role model:

As you develop greater self-control, others will view you as a role model, valuing your wisdom and thoughtful decision-making. They will seek your counsel, thereby amplifying your visibility and recognition. Perceptions about you will be positive, empowering and impactful, helping you fast-track and grow your career.

4. More opportunities and growth:

Prudent choices often result in positive outcomes, opening up new opportunities for personal and professional growth. You will be seen as a resourceful, dependable and strategic asset for the company and aptly rewarded.

5. Enhanced well-being:

Your efforts to move towards a calmer, composed state of doing and being will add to your well-being. Greater peace of mind, healthy emotional regulation and mindful choices will increase your joy, satisfaction and fulfilment while influencing your ability to lead others and navigate challenging situations.

Important

Remember, even as you work to improve your choices, you must be gentle, non-judgmental, and compassionate with yourself. Undoing limiting beliefs, disempowering habits, and conditioned patterns can be an exercise for a lifetime. So embrace the journey, celebrate your progress, and allow yourself to grow at your own pace.

Taming impulsiveness and developing prudence is a transformative process that requires self-awareness, practice, and patience. By following these seven steps, you’ll be well on your way to making more thoughtful decisions, improving your relationships, advancing your career, and enhancing your overall well-being.

Allow your impulsiveness to revolve around small, pleasurable, non-consequential things while being prudent about important, high-stake choices and decisions.

Points to ponder

1. When and where am I most impulsive?
2. When and where have I exercised admirable levels of prudence?
3. What can I add to my life to feel calmer and more at peace/
4. What do I need to reduce or eliminate to feel more at ease?
5. Who can support my journey from impulsiveness to prudence?